tell me how

Friday, October 19, 2012

tell me how to stop this pain
tell me how to stop loving you
tell me what did i do wrong
tell me

tell me you dont want me
tell me you are just fooling around my feelings
tell me you hate me
tell me

#this pain ..hurts too is hard to bear
what do i have to do
whats wrong with me being me
my love for you is true
what did i do wrong this time
you punish me like this
what do i do
to deserve this pain

day by day

Saturday, July 21, 2012

I rather get struck by a hammer which is impactful but blunt rather then being stab by a knife which is small yet deep.
By now i guess you're starting to dislike me and soon hate me. I better off being hated then befriend by you. Well it is much better off like that right?

kehadapan my love:

i want you to know that
what i feels is real
i have no intentions to leave you
its just..
other things got in the way
dat make me unable to stay 
i wanted to be with you
like real
she didnt allow me too
to even be friend with you
i am hoping that you will stay strong
be well
if you love me let me know

i just cant stand to  see you stay sad anymore
cukup ape yg org prnh uat dulu
im trying not to hurt you
i cant ..
i am just someone that just come along the way
im not trying to destroy what you had with her

who love me too much
i love you too syg.
be well.

am i too mean?

why does it have to end like this?
when my heart have finally whisper and tell me to let you in
why this pain?

why does it too hurt..
memang org ckp org leyh telan sumea ni
im no longer strong like i used to
whenever i cry
i long for your hug
to b in there
in my room
when your memory are all over the place
it hurt way too much
how can i forget you.

from bottom of my heart

how can i say?
when she finally decide to leave me
to finally forget me
this is what i want
npe it hurt more
i just can't

how do i say..
how can i tell you
i love you so much
way more
i miss you

now and then..

Thursday, June 14, 2012

For now
i am going to live like there is no tomorrow
i cant hope for more
its perfect now
a lil loneliness here n there
i'll endure
i am trying to lay down the sadness dat grounded me
i am trying
it doesnt make sense
as it took longer to actually healed
learn to let go
a little bit everyday ;)
#thanks to her for making my day a brand new dy
now n then#


what hurt the most

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things change
me change
i've got mix feelings
denial just make it growth
forgive me
im not ready for any kind of com-mit-ment.
but i know what i need
and for this mean time
that would be enuf
i make alot of mistakes before
im trying not to 

Suitcase of memory

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Its been a while. i am hoping dat this coming month just passing like it never happen.suprisingly.two years seems like it was yesterday. theres nothing easy like people might see or even thought. it harder .much complicated. as you have to act like you dont you have been such heartless.

What i am suppose to say
when i am all choke up
u're ok.
well you are move on
i am still grieving

"If i let myself to care, all i get is hurt"(Salvatore,2012), you know well, how this words suppose to mean.
And for dat .....i am not dat cool to wat for that "one day" to come. I just hope i can escape. its not what i want.'s what i need. like seriously. Nobody wants to be alone. but yet. it all started with being end up alone first, have time for yourself first, understand your nature in order to give commitment. long way to go.

people gave me money
its not like im broke
im just
broken-hearted girl

Talk n talk.give motivation to those who need it. deep inside. i cant escape the circle myself. i caught in the same situation. as.....the past keep on haunting me. n im just afraid it might harm me. therefore, im still stuck in here. in the middle. between yes and no. im still waiting here. a day. a month. or maybe a year. it wont make any difference. im just not moving. i just dont let myself feel dat. it's better for me to burried them in so far way. so i lost to find it back. n whenever i cry so hard to get it wont come back. i want myself to be suffer. thats what i deserve. because i am dying just missing you. but i just cant really say it outloud. Sometimes i wish like a million times that whenever theres a  red light in my phone, it was you. but nothing. its not you. in a mean time i just enjoy my time alone then. thats the best way instead of grieving all the time. its not like i can live like thousands year right. so smile ;)

till we meet again ^^

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