tell me how

tell me how to stop this pain

tell me how to stop loving you

tell me what did i do wrong

tell me

tell me you dont want me

tell me you are just fooling around my feelings

tell me you hate me

tell me

#this pain ..hurts too much...it is hard to bear

what do i have to do

whats wrong with me being me

my love for you is true

what did i do wrong this time

you punish me like this

what do i do

to deserve this pain

day by day

I rather get struck by a hammer which is impactful but blunt rather then being stab by a knife which is small yet deep.

By now i guess you're starting to dislike me and soon hate me. I better off being hated then befriend by you. Well it is much better off like that right?

kehadapan my love:

i want you to know that

what i feels is real

i have no intentions to leave you

its just..

other things got in the way

dat make me unable to stay 

i wanted to be with you

like real

but...

she didnt allow me too

to even be friend with you

i am hoping that you will stay strong

be well

if you love me let me know

i just cant stand to  see you stay sad anymore

cukup ape yg org prnh uat dulu

im trying not to hurt you

but....

i cant ..

i am just someone that just come along the way

im not trying to destroy what you had with her

she...

who love me too much

i love you too syg.

be well.

am i too mean?

why does it have to end like this?

when my heart have finally whisper and tell me to let you in

why this pain?

sayang.....

why does it too hurt..

memang org ckp org leyh telan sumea ni

but...

im no longer strong like i used to

whenever i cry

i long for your hug

to b in there

in my room

when your memory are all over the place

it hurt way too much

how can i forget you.

from bottom of my heart

how can i say?

when she finally decide to leave me

to finally forget me

this is what i want

tp..

npe it hurt more

i just can't

how do i say..

how can i tell you

that

i love you so much

way more

i miss you

now and then..

For now

i am going to live like there is no tomorrow

i cant hope for more

its perfect now

a lil loneliness here n there

i'll endure

i am trying to lay down the sadness dat grounded me

i am trying

still..

it doesnt make sense

as it took longer to actually healed

n..

learn to let go

 

a little bit everyday ;)

#thanks to her for making my day a brand new dy

now n then#

 

what hurt the most

Things change

me change

i've got mix feelings

denial just make it growth

forgive me

im not ready for any kind of com-mit-ment.

but i know what i need

and for this mean time

that would be enuf

i make alot of mistakes before

now

im trying not to 

Suitcase of memory

Its been a while. i am hoping dat this coming month just passing like it never happen.suprisingly.two years seems like it was yesterday. theres nothing easy like people might see or even thought. it harder .much complicated. as you have to act like you dont care.like you have been such heartless.

What i am suppose to say

when i am all choke up

n....

u're ok.

well you are move on

n.....

i am still grieving

"If i let myself to care, all i get is hurt"(Salvatore,2012), you know well, how this words suppose to mean.
And for dat .....i am not dat cool to wat for that "one day" to come. I just hope i can escape. its not what i want. but...it's what i need. like seriously. Nobody wants to be alone. but yet. it all started with being end up alone first, have time for yourself first, understand your nature in order to give commitment. long way to go.

people gave me money

its not like im broke

im just

broken-hearted girl

Talk n talk.give motivation to those who need it. deep inside. i cant escape the circle myself. i caught in the same situation. as.....the past keep on haunting me. n im just afraid it might harm me. therefore, im still stuck in here. in the middle. between yes and no. im still waiting here. a day. a month. or maybe a year. it wont make any difference. im just not moving. i just dont let myself feel dat. it's better for me to burried them in so far way. so i lost to find it back. n whenever i cry so hard to get it back.it wont come back. i want myself to be suffer. thats what i deserve. because i am dying just missing you. but i just cant really say it outloud. Sometimes i wish like a million times that whenever theres a  red light in my phone, it was you. but nothing. its not you. in a mean time i just enjoy my time alone then. thats the best way instead of grieving all the time. its not like i can live like thousands year right. so smile ;)

till we meet again ^^